Hamish Blake: Sausage (and grape) connoisseur. Photo: Jordan Graham Source: NewsComAu
AUSTRALIA DAY is the greatest day of the year.
One of the reasons I particularly love it is its name. Almost every country on earth has a national day — the vast majority are called ‘Independence Day’; a few are known as ‘Flag Day’; Guam has ‘Discovery Day’ (which I like because it conjures up an image of the people of Guam all sailing around for ages, saying, “It’s got to be around here somewhere…”).
But Australia is almost exclusively in the club that’s named the day after itself, which means we get to choose how we celebrate ‘Australianness’.
Not all Australians (myself included) consider the date we do this to be the beginning of a proud era for our country.
But, to me, the notion of Australia Day is about celebrating who we are now as a nation.
It’s about how far we’ve come, where we’re headed, what we stand for and — perhaps most importantly — sausages.
Left to our own devices to decide what the day means to us, it has largely boiled down to a) wearing silly flag-themed clothes, b) cheering at things, and c) sausages.
And this is why I love this country so, so much.
Rather than marking out the perfect Australia Day into time-based segments, I believe the arc can be traced through what I call ‘The Six Sausages You Will Eat on Australia Day’.
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Mmmmmm sausages ... Source: Thinkstock Source: ThinkStock
1. The range-finding snag
This sausage isn’t quite cooked through and is the result of an overeager chef/host proclaiming the snags are ready.
The hastily cooked nature of the sausage is due to a late firing up of the barbie, or the extremely weak heat-generation abilities of barbecues in public parks.
Either way, it sets you up for …
2. The perfect snag
Taken off the grill 10 minutes later, this sausage (ideally, a regular thin sausage from the supermarket in a 48-pack) is the perfect mix of ever-so-slightly crisped on the outside and spongy and juicy in the middle.
It should also send a little squirt of fat onto your chin or the Wonder White it’s being held in. Heaven.
3. The post-other-meat snag
This third sausage is consumed after you foolishly venture off to another meat — such as a chicken skewer in a mystery marinade or lamb, because the TV told you to eat lamb on Oz Day — before realising what a goose you were to leave the tried-and-true sausage haven.
This snag isn’t hot any more, but warm enough to do the trick, and now you’re stuffed.
4. The lone soldier snag
Heading into late afternoon, you wander away from the pool/cricket game/frisbee contest where you’ve been eating Twisties to assist with your beer intake, and you see the last sausage from lunch on a paper plate.
By now you’re getting hungry again and this old sausage seems like a more substantial, even healthier option than chips, so it’s snatched up.
The fat has congealed a bit, making the sausage drier, but you add double the sauce to fix that. This snag is almost always consumed alone, and fast.
You return to the crowd, pretending you needed to go to the toilet, and no one knows your possibly-salmonella-infected little secret.
5. & 6. Emergency snags
It’s 8pm. No one thought this far into the day, catering-wise.
The party is a mix of sleeping people, tiny beer-soaked Australian flags, broken wading pools that once held drinks, and a smattering of survivors still partying.
Any organised food is long gone, and no clear leader is stepping up to sort out the hunger situation.
Pizza is considered for a moment, before you realise it’s treason (even if it’s an Aussie pizza). Suddenly you remember there might be one more pack of snags in the Esky Jono brought when he got here at 4.30pm and everyone laughed ’cos the barbie was long ago turned off.
You lunge for the Esky and find your treasure floating in the water.
You quietly fire the barbie back up.
The smell of sausages soon attracts a small crowd.
You quickly do the maths; it’s OK, there’s enough to feed them.
Someone puts on Men at Work.
Everyone hugs.
This interview appeared in Sunday Style. Download the app now
Follow Hamish on Twitter @Hamishblake
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